Recovering from childbirth is a journey, and while everyone has got an opinion on what you should do or feel or look like, your postpartum journey is your own. Here is a list of what made mine feel easier or more comfortable.
1. Husband on house duty
I know it’s not fair because not everyone has a husband that can be available, take time off work, even for just a couple of weeks. But we had an agreement with my husband:
He was sleeping in the spare bedroom for the first few months of our son’s life so he could sleep while I breastfed at night and got up when the baby was crying. And during the day he would prepare the meals, do the washing up, the laundry, the food shops, everything. He was looking after me while I kept our baby alive.
When he went back to work after two weeks, I slowly started doing more things around the house. These actually made me feel like I was more than “just” the baby’s life support.
Knowing that there weren’t any expectations from me at the beginning (except from baby stuff, which is huge I know) was such a relief. It made me feel at peace while going through this postpartum journey.
2. Frozen homemade meals
When my mat leave started, I was ready to cook and freeze. I bought two freezing containers looking like giant ice cubes and filled them with my Chickpea & Lentil Dahl, chilli con carne, and breakfast omelettes. These became really handy when my husband was travelling for work, or for quick lunches. I just had to pop the food in the air fryer or the pan and that was it.
Nutritious, quick, comforting – it was winter so these meals were perfect.
3. Take it SLOW mindset for your postpartum journey
The recovery process is slow for some (most) of us. I have a friend who went back to wearing her jeans two weeks after giving birth. Well, it was more like 5 weeks for me, and even then it was only one pair. The rest I had to size up, and still do 8 months later !
Forget about when you’re supposed to get back into your clothes, forget about the double chin, the belly, the milestones of that fit PT you see online. It will happen eventually. Just give it time.
I remember I was scared that I couldn’t put my engagement ring back on after 6 weeks. And then one day I could.
Your body doesn’t bounce back, it creates a new normal. Follow your midwife’s advice, do your pelvic floor exercises when the time is right. And let nature do its thing.
Don’t rush into exercising or losing weight. Just know that you’re here for your baby in the best way, and if needed wear ample clothing. You need to feel good about yourself, especially when you know this is a temporary phase, and your body went through a major transformation.
4. Subscriptions
Anything you can order on repeat is gold, so you don’t have to do any of the thinking. I have nappies that come to my doorstep every month, I’ve never had to run out to the shop to get some. Same for washing machine pods, deodorant, and now formula.
Outsource the remembering and planning as much as you can, we live in a golden age where we can have everything sorted for us, so use it.
Talking about delegating the thinking, I also used the Huckleberry app where I recorded everything, from feeds to nappy changes, sleep and bath time. I never had to remember how long he’d been awake or when I last changed his nappy, it was all in there. The free version worked perfectly for me.
5. A Kindle
I quickly realised that my baby didn’t like to go to sleep at night if the light was on. But if the light wasn’t on, I would fall asleep during these midnight feeds. So I got my Kindle out. I got some great fiction downloaded, and as soon as he was latched on, I’d read to keep me awake with that faint glow the Kindle has. Also great for when you’re nap trapped, baby asleep on you just after a feed and you don’t want him to wake up. Get the Kindle before the feed starts 😉
6. My night time skincare routine
I’ve had a pretty regimented skincare routine for a few years. And while I felt like most of the day was baby focused, these 10-minutes where my husband played with our baby before going to bed, and I could brush my teeth and do my face, that was just for me. It made me feel better, nourished my face, and yes I still looked tired, but months later I know this was the best I could do. Here is what my skincare routine looks like.
7. Expressing milk to leave my baby for more than an hour at a time
I exclusively breastfed for 6 months, which meant that I had to be with my baby almost at all times. However, I started expressing milk after a month so I could leave him for the time of one feed. I could leave the house and not just be his mum with milk on tap for a couple of hours, just me.
You hear a lot that you need to look after yourself, life doesn’t stop after you have a baby, you need to feel like yourself again. And while I say Amen to all of this, at the beginning it’s easy to lose sight of who you are aside from the milk lady. Getting out of the house to go for brunch with my sister, or to a concert that’s been planned for months felt like reconnecting to myself.
Whether you’re breastfeeding or not, find the time to do activities that you enjoyed before, and when someone else is looking after your child. It doesn’t mean you love them less. It means you still love yourself.
I’ll add a bonus point
I ate nutritious foods. It might sound silly to specify it, but when your body is going through a major life event, remember to eat good foods and fuel yourself right. During that time, your sleep is definitely not optimal, your movements might be limited, your mental breaks are rare, so eat good foods. Help your body heal, eat the veggies as much as you can, the protein and the healthy fats.
Your postpartum journey is a testing time, and for some it’s a breeze, for others it’s an excruciating time. Whether struggling with PP depression, having a really uncomfortable and crying newborn, illnesses that pop up that you hadn’t planned at all, or everything going like you imagined, it’s a time you won’t forget.
You can have systems in place to help you navigate it, because life doesn’t stop. Laundry needs to be done, time passes, you need to eat, this growing baby needs you, you have to pee, you can’t think straight sometimes, babies like to be held.
Get help, help yourself, and that will make your postpartum journey smoother.
